14 TIPS FOR A NEW DAD: ULTIMATE NEW DAD STARTER GUIDE

Here is the best high level guide with 14 tips for a new dad. There are a ton of tip lists and guides out there but a LOT of them have a lot of fluff and filler that can be irritating to dig through.

Below is my extensive list and explanation of each tip. PLUS, I included a table of contents so that you can jump around throughout the article to what you are interested in.

Also, the table of contents below should help if you choose to bookmark this page for future reference. So without further adieu, here are your “14 Tips for a New Dad”

Start Your Research Now

Blogs to Checkout

So, you are in full overdrive mode and you may be thinking that you don’t know anything about what’s going to happen! Don’t worry, I was the same way and I was completely overwhelmed with trying to find good resources to read and pull information from. In the end, don’t sweat it too much because you will likely find out the bare minimum required info through friends, family, and your doctor.

However, if you want to read some more there are plenty of resources out there. Blogs continue to be at the top of the resource mental watering hole. A lot of blogs are targeted for moms, which may be useful but if you’re looking for blogs specifically for dads there are several out there!

The 20 Best Parenting Blogs from Fathercraft ( also a good resource ) not only includes a list of great dad oriented blogs but also blogs on:

• Best overall parenting
• Best blogs for first time parents
• Blogs for specific issues with babies

That list is a great starting point but I wanted more blogs targeted for dads. The best things about blogs is that each one generally has a different tone and feel that can make you feel more at home. So I recommend reading several at the start and then sticking with one or two has you find what you like.

Here are several more dad-centric blogs:

• HighTechDad – includes lots of reviews and articles about gadgets/gear for parenting
• Day of a Domestic Dad – general guides for household tasks but also dips into talking about cars, travel, tech and entertainment
• Lunch Box Dad – As you may have guessed, this blog focuses on fun lunch ideas for the kids
• The Father Hood – general content about being dad from parenting tips to mental health (which believe me, may be useful in the early years)
• Skint Dad – This article steers away from traditional dad content towards a focus on budgeting and making money, through the eyes of a dad.
• Direct Advice for Dads – The information here focuses on the early years of becoming a dad, having a baby, and watching them grow into toddler psychopaths. 
• Dad and Buried – Longer form and sarcastic content about parenting
• The Daddy Style Diaries – As the name suggests its a first person content perspective about style and travel topics
• I Think Therefore I Dad – Introspective and thoughtful content

There is a ton out there but again you don’t have to read it all. Just find something you like and march forward with that. 

If there is a blog resource you like that’s not included let me know in the comments below!

Books!? But I HATE Reading!

*READING IS GOOD!

So it’s easy to go over board here and make a reading list that would take till the end of time to get through. If you have a tendency to over think things then I would pick 1 book on each topic and just stick with that.

A lot of the information that you may feel like you’re “missing” is most likely easily sourced from online articles.

So for those that like to read I went through several books lists and pulled together the consistent title mentions from those and split them up by topic here:

Sleep

Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief

• Recommended throughout parenting reddit
• 4.6 out of 5 stars on Amazon with 2800 reviews
• 4 stars on Good Reads with 3900 ratings

This book is a solid starter guide on how to get your baby to independently sleep and methods to do so. The book can lead towards an all or nothing tone which may not resonate for everyone. 

Personally, we ended up with having our son be able to sleep in his crib at night and go down within 5 minutes, but he never wants to nap in his crib by himself. At the end of the day its your call on whats the most productive solution for the situation. 

This book seems to “poo poo” deviating from the plan in any way.

Good reads has an in-depth review on it that can be found here

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp

• 4.5 Stars on Amazon
• 3.9 Stars on Good Reads

Despite its average reviews on Good Reads and Amazon this book seems to leave a lot to be desired. After delving into reviews the almostunanimous consensus is that this book is largely filled with fluff and could have been a pamphlet instead. 

Save yourself the money and just google the suggestions made by the book. Just for quick reference they are: swaddle, laying on their side, shushing, swinging, sucking. 

EARTH SHATTERING…not really

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth

• 4.4 on Amazon
• 3.9 on Good Reads
• Reddit also has decent things to say about it.

The general response seems to be that even when people don’t agree with a certain part of the book they understand where the author is coming from.

The book is full of science backed data to help new parents understand more about sleep, but some people find this amount of information to be overwhelming.

Based on everything I have read I would say this one is a good runner up to Precious Little Sleep.

If you want to skip reading entire books, THEN TOUGH…just kidding (our solution)

My wife and I were both at the end of sanity around month 4 and had to make a change with our son because no one in the house was getting the proper rest they needed.

I did some research into some solutions, avoiding complete Cry It Out methods because neither of us wanted to do that.

We successfully used the Ferber Method and our son started going to sleep within 5 minutes and staying asleep through the night by night 3 or 4.

This method can be tough and a lot of dads I have talked to talk a big game about “I can just shut the door and leave and not care if they are crying”… if that’s you then cool but I can confidently say thats probably less than 1% of people because our lizard brains are built to respond to our children.

Anyway, it is a graduated scale of response times after putting your baby to bed. The big difference between Ferber and CIO is that you get to go in and get your child calmed down and reassure them that they aren’t abandoned or whatever their crazy little baby brains are thinking at the time.

This may not be for you and that is fine, at the end of the day healthy sleep for all parties involved is the best.

Baby’s First year

Mayo Clinic Guide to the First Year

• 4.8 on Amazon
• 4.25 on Goodreads

This is an excellent science based book set up in a reference format so that certain topics can be quickly accessed without having to read the entire book in one go.

The reviews on Reddit, Amazon, and Goodreads all acknowledge that this book is incredibly helpful and is as close to a “baby bible” that you will get.

Best Overall Knowledge

Caring for Your Baby and Young Child by the American Academy of Pediatrics

• 4.8 on Amazon
• 4.09 on Good Reads

This book can be thought of as an extension to the May Clinic book mentioned above. It covers years 0-5 compared to just the first year for the Mayo clinic.

It is also a science backed reference book and many people enjoy it for that reason. It has a lot of great articles that can cover most things that would come up and save you the trip to the sewers of google and wading through some very spotty advice.

Cribsheet by Emily Oster

• 4.6 on Amazon
• 4.14 on Good Reads

For those unfamiliar Emily Oster is also the author of a very prominent book called Expecting Better. Her approach both in that book and Cribsheet is looking at and then dissecting studies on common hot topics in parenting.

She gives suggestions on each topic as well and seems to be a quick general high level look at topics that you may be interested in.

A lot of review mention that they like the sleep training portion of the book which talks about a similar method to Ferber which I mentioned up in the sleep portion of this list.

This one seems like a good pickup if your looking to read something cover to cover and get some broad knowledge rather than having the encyclopedia setup the more in depth books I mentioned have.

How to Level Up Your Dad Game

Finally, what you all have been waiting for! DAD BOOKS FOR DADS! These books are focused towards us which is nice because there aren’t a ton of them out there and they tend to be eclipsed by all the books mentioned above.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash

• 4.6 on Amazon (starting to wonder if anything scores badly on Amazon)
• 3.83 on Good Reads

This books is a month by month reflection of the pregnancy process and includes information about whats going on with your partner and the baby.

The reviews of this tend to be lukewarm at best and many people say that the information in it seems generic. 

I think you could likely find what your looking for from this book online with free guides that will also probably be better summarized.

Be prepared by Gary Greenberg

• 4.7 on Amazon
• 4.04 on Good reads

This book may look outdated but definitely has a TON of good and practical tips for new dads. Also It’s only 6 to 10 bucks which is probably decent just to learn out to construct a diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape…yes that’s advertised as part of the Amazon description.

All reviews of this one seem to have the same consensus that this books is not only quick to read, but easy to understand and implement the topics learned. 

I think this book sounds like a great place to start for leveling up your dad game with some easy info.

The Ultimate Stay at Home Dad by Shannon Carpenter

• 4.6 on Amazon
• 4.22 on Good Reads

This book is not only for stay at home dads but also for working dads. While the scores on Good Reads and Amazon are not the highest on the list, the comments by most people are all extremely positive.

The book is written from Carpenter’s perspective and gives a lot of good advice for new and upcoming dads. This one may be one of the most relatable on the list and is definitely entertaining to say the least.

Development

The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson

• 4.7 on Amazon
• 4.27 on Good Reads

So this one will probably be polarizing for those that may have read it but right off the bat I think that this books is likely a pass. At best its, look up the cliff notes somewhere (*thinking to self, are cliff notes still called that and does anyone else remember those yellow books you could buy before the world wide web?)

Anyway, when looking into what people had to say about the book MANY people said that this book has some decent content but its likely a small fraction of the book.

Additionally, I saw repeated statements that a lot of this book is pseudoscience and that there isn’t really a lot of good evidence for what the author is proposing as his hypothesis. 

Interestingly enough I saw a book repeatedly mentioned on many comments that wasn’t on this list originally but will be now. It is called The Incredible Years by Carolyn Webster-Stratton. Looking forward to finding out how people have reacted to this one!

What’s Going On In There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lisa Eliot

• 4.5 on Amazon
• 4.09 on Good Reads

The general consensus on this one is that it is packed full of good information but it CRUNCHY. And by that I mean, it reads more like a textbook than a commentary on parenting. 

The data that feeds this book is a bit older but still holds up for the most part. I think that this book is for a smaller audience consisting of those that want to know the biological “whys” on what is happening with your child’s brain and development.

The Incredible Years by Carolyn Webster-Stratton

• 4.7 on Amazon
• 4.2 on Good Reads

So this one appears to be a very quality read according to most. It concentrates on understanding developmental issues and how to deal with negative ones. 

It seems to be better targeted for children in the 2 to 8 year old range since they child must first understand consequences before you impose them.

Book Conclusion

Shewwww this rounds out the list of books that I could find across a bunch of different sites. It is far from a conclusive list but should be more than enough to get most started. 

As stated before, I wouldn’t go over board with these but instead probably pick one from each category and try and get some reading in before the baby comes. Believe me, after the baby arrives you will be short on time and sleep for the foreseeable future.

Learn how to take care of Mom

• These shits get EXPENSIVE.
• I decided to go middle of the road and just get a decent military style backpack because A. it looked cool and B. I could attach more pouches to it later.
• High Speed Daddy Diaper Bag – This one also came with a little changing mat which was cool

Anti-Diaper Rash gear

• Desitin
• Baby powder – I like bottles with aloe
• Aquaphore – The “glue stick” is the way to go for easy application

Basinet

These can also get very expensive and there are about a million options. The one that we bought and loved was one where the side folds down so you can get the baby in and out easily while in bed.

This isn’t the exact one we got but is similar: Jimglo 3 in 1 Basinet

Sleep Sacks

Love to Dream – Affectionately referred to by us as the cactus sack. Yes this one seems expensive but it worked so great we bought another and then 2 more when he jumped sizes.

Baby Monitor

The Owlet Dream Sock – THIS item is a must. I can’t express how strongly i feel about this. Yes its expensive but even if I had to eat boiled potatoes and cat litter for 6 months to save the money I would. I’ll have a separate article on this and other monitors later.

Books for the Baby

• Stephen King’s It
• War and Peace
• 50 Shades of…whoops wrong list, just get whatever books you liked as a kid! We asked people to get us books and write a note in it instead of cards for the baby shower.

Crib, Mattress, and Other Nursery Furniture

Delta Children is where we purchased our set of nursery furniture. It’s all high quality wood that’s built to last. The bed is a stage bed for when he grows, the dresser turns into a normal dresser without the changing top, and the rocking chair has honestly been nice for real late nights.

Bottles

Nanobebe is what we eventually landed on. Don’t buy to many of a particular brand because your baby may not like them and you’ll want to switch.

Bottle Warmer

Momcozy Warmer – is this 100% necessary…no. BUT, is it awesome and saves you time and effort in the late hours when the baby is screaming, the dog steps on your foot and your drop his pacifier…you get the idea. This one is cool because it warms on multiple settings and sterilizes.

Dish rack for bottles

Just get a cheap one and avoid this “grass” rack trash. I put ours on the same rocket to the Sun as the cheap wipes.

Breast Pump

Not really your choice as a dad BUT you can be supportive and quell your shock when she tells you how much this is.

My wife likes the Elvie for on the go. She also had a stationary one from Momcozy

You can also get one through insurance for pretty cheap.

Car Seat system and Stroller

We went with the Graco Car Seat Travel System for a stroller and car seat combo. WE LOVE the stroller!

We also got a Graco Forever car seat for when our son outgrew the infant car seat.

Baby Carrier

We got a BabyBjorn for $10 lightly used at a consignment sale.

I liked it a lot but don’t think I would pay full price. I recommend trying to get a lightly used one because a lot of them are expensive.

Bath items

• Wash clothes, a little thing I like to call “soap”, and a baby bath

Grooming kit

Something like this though it doesn’t have to be THAT one. You just want a grinder for the razor blades that babies grow for nails.

Burp Rags

We like these Yoofoos muslin rags. They are really soft so they don’t beat up his skin and they get the job done.

Boppy Pillow

We bought 3 of these dang things before finding the one we liked.

The Momcozy with Back Support is the best one that we used consistently.

Pacifier

Just get a couple of one brand because like bottles they baby may hate it and want to switch or not use one at all.

Gear Conclusion

Hopefully that was helpful and maybe alleviated some decision fatigue. If you want to see someone elses list Fathercraft has a list as well.

 Feeding Options

This is one of those topics that can get somewhat overwhelming quickly. What I tried to do as a new dad was be knowledgeable about how often to feed, how much to feed, and the nutritional requirements of my wife in order for her to breastfeed successfully.

From my experience, breastfeeding was a very personal experience for my wife and it was very important to her that we do what we could to make that option successful. Luckily, she ended up being an overproducer and we never had to buy formula for my son.

Leading up to the birth I was worried that we may not be able to breastfeed and thought about buying formula each paycheck to have on hand. DON’T DO THIS and here is why.

Even if your wife doesn’t plan to breastfeed before birth, she may change her mind and then you’ve wasted a lot of money.

But say your are 100% confident your wife isn’t going to breastfeed and you want to prepare; There is a decent chance that whatever formula you buy, the baby may not like or react to well and you’ll have to change brands, which leaves you with a bunch of wasted money.

I would recommend starting a milk fund for your baby and setting aside money to purchase as you go after the birth. This allows you to remain flexible and still have a plan to feed the new baby.

There are two external resources that can be helpful if you want to learn about the process more: 

• CDC FAQ on Breastfeeding 
• Milk Drunk Blog

Both of these could be valid resources for you and your wife and it probably is a decent idea to at least get a birds eye view of the process.

 Overcome the 2nd Trimester

This is where things start to get a bit more real! The ultrasound appointments will show more and you will start to have appointments more often.

At this point it’s a really good idea to try and finalize and setup the new baby’s pediatrician. It’s better to go ahead and make the choice so you don’t have to think about it later, and at the end of the day you can always change who you see.

The other planning topic you likely should figure out by the end of this trimester is child care.

There are a lot of questions around this like: Who is watching the baby right after the birth, how long are they off, can we enlist the help of family, what are the options for daycares in my area and how much do they cost?

Child care can be incredibly expensive in the early months and years of a child’s life so its best to have this planning done as soon as possible.

The last tip here is to go ahead and start telling people if you haven’t already. There are blood tests now that will tell you the gender at this point so you can even start planning a gender reveal party with your wife. 

We made ours Star Wars themed and used pink or blue lightsabers for everyone (including my wife and I) to find out what we were having. So have fun with it and enjoy yourself!

Start Healthy Habbits NOW

The number 1 tip for this section is to make sure that your wife and the baby are getting quality nutrition during the pregnancy. This is quite a deep topic and one I plan on exploring more in depth in the future.

But to boil it down, make sure that they are getting healthy whole foods as often as possible and try to cook as nutritious of meals that you are capable of. I know not everyone is a Gordon Ramsay but there are plenty of simple healthy meals out there to make.

Worst case scenario there are quite a few food delivery services out there that you can take advantage of to save time and ensure they are getting enough food.

Tip number 2: If you aren’t already in shape or taking care of yourself, start now. After the baby arrives your life is going to be upside down for a little while but keeping yourself healthy in the long term is important.

If you get out in front of it and start your routine before the baby, you can tweak it just a bit after the birth to get back on track once you have adapted.

Help Her Out When She Asks

You might be saying “I just want to sit and vedge out and play video games and watch TV after my long workday” and I’m here to say tough butts dude, there are things to be done.

Everyone needs their “me time” but its good to get comfortable now with the fact that it’s not going to be as much time as it used to be.

There are going to be a lot of tasks to knock out that your partner is going to need help with. In my experience, your partner is going to want things done when they ask and not have to wait to terribly wrong. And if you don’t help, they will often do it themselves (this is called nesting).

The process of nesting is different for everyone and new dads do it as well. The best tip I can say is try to have a brainstorming session and think of ALL the tasks needing done, and schedule them out on a timeline.

That way both of you can relax and know that things aren’t being forgotten and everything is already planned out.

Go to EVERY Appointment You Can

Believe me now, you will regret not going to the ultrasounds and missing out on seeing and hearing the baby. I enjoyed every appointment I went to because those are your first experiences together as a family.

Plus, your wife will probably need to lean on you from time to time and be able to discuss what’s going on with the pregnancy. If you are both there when the doctor is talking its more likely that you won’t miss information that you need.

At the end of the day, you get these experiences once and should try to enjoy them as much as possible.

Towards the end of the second trimester you can schedule a 3D ultrasound. These are often done in private clinics and families often come along as well.

My wife and I had one done and it was an amazing experience! If you haven’t seen one of these before then I recommend looking into it. As the name implies you will get to see 3D video and images of your baby.

The clinic we went to had couches in the room for the family, a super comfy bed, and additional gifts that could be purchased with the baby’s heartbeat pattern or sound. 

Jam Out and Talk to Your Baby

As a big music lover I looked forward to this a lot. I always played music and talked to my son once I knew his ears were developed (usually around 18 weeks).

Talking and playing music for the baby in the womb has shown to be beneficial and a lot of different studies. 

Importantly, this article talks about a study that showed that babies in the womb more often respond to deeper toned sounds and voices. And that’s where you as a dad comes in since it’s pretty likely your voice is deeper than your wife’s. 

It may feel corny and weird to do this at first but honestly, have fun and start that love of music and your relationship with your new baby early!

Take a Babymoon

This is a newer concept that has come into mainstream parenting in the last few years. I didn’t know what this was before we got pregnant so for those that don’t know, it’s a trip that you both take together since it’ll likely be a while before you can travel again.

Honestly, if you have the time and money I think this is a great idea. You will likely be short on time, money, and energy post birth and having a “last hoorah” trip for the two of you could be nice. 

Plus, if you are both stressing it can be a nice break to recharge before you move into the last trimester.

Organize Your Living Space

This is another topic that can get very in depth and really how much you want to do is up to you. However, I would recommend thinking through the following at a minimum:

• Where is the baby basinet going to be? Your room, the nursery, in the dark cellar basement??? In all seriousness, it doesn’t hurt to have two. We had one in our bedroom and one in the living room for those late nights.
• Are you going to have a nursery? This is one that you have probably thought of already and getting it as setup as possible before the baby comes is important as it will be harder ( not impossible) to find the time after the baby comes.
• Are you going to have a playpen or pack and play in the main living space? I was a dog dad of two Dobermans before I was a human dad and we prioritized having a dedicated space to lay the baby down safely when we needed to get up for a minute.

You will have some time after the baby is born to get what you didn’t get done accomplished. This is especially true if you have a substantial amount of time off after the birth. However, having the list beaten down to a minimum is nice so you can spend more time with your baby and catch up on some much needed sleep.

Figure Your Administrative Details Out

This is the boring but very necessary list of items you should either knock out or have a plan for before the baby arrives.

• Health Insurance: Baby’s and birth is expensive! Reach out to your companies HR and figure out what you need to do to get the new little one added and when that needs done.
• Life Insurance: If you are the main bread winner for the family it’s not a bad idea to take out extra insurance in case something happens to you. Not necessarily the most fun thing to think about but it’s reality.
• Wills: I never thought about making a will before we had our son. Shortly, after we did our parents brought up the topic of who our son would go to in the unfortunate event that both my wife and I passed. This is very important because if there is no will in place, the baby could end up in the state system while the details are figured out, you don’t want this.
  • You can find templates for wills online and have them notarized or you can reach out to an attorney. The second option is much more expensive.
• Certificates: Start a folder ahead of time to store all documents related to the baby. You will end up with a stack of papers by the end and it’s nice to have a place for it all.

Pack Your Hospital Bag

There are a lot of items that you can include and its easy to overpack. Below is a quick down and dirty list of some of the bare minimum items to include in your bag.

• Phone chargers
• Entertainment – we took our switch and it was actually nice to have while we waited for the little man to come.
• Change of clothes for a couple days
• Medications
• Car Seat
• Bluetooth speaker
• Toiletries
• Snacks – the hospitals often have cheap snack options in the cafeteria
• Comfy shoes
• Pillow – the quality of the hospital pillows can vary
• Swaddles and Baby blankets – the hospital baby blankets are cousins to sand paper
• Going home outfits for the baby
• Birth Plan
• Water Bottles
• Camera – if not using the phone
• Insurance cards
• Breastfeeding supplies – the hospital will have some
• Earbuds or Headphones

If you have family nearby it’s nice to have some extra clothes or items you don’t want to pack set out at the house so you can have someone else swing by and pick them up if you end up having an extended stay.

Conclusion

Shew, that was a doozy but it was fun! A lot of these topics could be entire posts on their own and likely will be in the future!

If there is something that you want answered let me know in the comments!

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